Things Kiki Wanted to Tweet at the Cubs Game, But Couldn’t

It’s no secret that cell reception at Wrigley has a tendency to suck. So a lot of what I wanted to tweet last night during the game, I didn’t get to because…well…I couldn’t. Which means my loyal fans missed all of my wit and whatnot (mostly whatnot).

Here’s everything I wanted to tweet last night, but couldn’t.

-Narrowly avoided contact with Ronnie Woo Woo and his blue ukelele. I used a human shield.

-Judging by the fans in Brewers jersies, there’s only 3 players on their team. Weeks, Fielder, and Braun. Lots of Braun.

-Either Tony Campana is the bat boy, or the bat boy wants to be him. 90mph everywhere.

-Favorite Braun taunt: “Get your hair cut!” Hilariously random.

-Favorite Braun taunt: A ten year old accusing Braun of wearing his sister’s pants.

-Favorite Braun taunt: A man with a very deep voice telling Braun he had the nicest ass in the NL. We all felt a little dirty after that.

-I may have eaten a helmet of ice cream for dinner.

-Randy Well’s butt isn’t nearly as big in person as it is on TV. But it’s still a bit of junk in that trunk.

-Soriano is adorable with the left field fans.

-I bet these girls trying to get balls  from the players are really good at getting beads during Mardi Gras.

-If I were skinny and pretty with no shame, I bet I could get a lot of balls, too. #SeeWhatIDidThere

-The Braun fans in left field are far too impressed by Braun making routine catches.

-There are so many drunken, floppy rally hats right now.

-3 dollar beer night in the bleachers isn’t a good idea if you’re not drinking the 3 dollar beers. #SoManyUnfunnyDrunks

-Your best bet for a non-dickhead Brewers fan? Find one wearing a Gallardo jersey.

-Park and ride is great, but they have to shove 750 people on the bus back to the lot.

-I am unskilled at strap hanging on a packed bus. I’m going to need Tommy John surgery after this ride.

Okay, the last three were on the bus, but I couldn’t tweet them because I didn’t have the opportunity as I was hanging on for dear life and trying not to kill the cool Brewers fans next to me.

It was my last Cubs game of the season, a bittersweet moment for me. I went to Wrigley more times this year than I have in my life. Of my three trips, I only got one win. But win or lose, I love going to Wrigley.

I can’t wait for next year.


Until then...



About Kiki Writes

Tragically unhip writer, rerun junkie, baseball floozy, and fat girl belly dancing. Land of Lincoln Cleavage Queen three years running.
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