Opening Up the Season

The Cubs season opener had everything going against it. It was wet. It was cold. It was against the Pirates.

Why is Russell wearing short sleeves in the cold and wet? Where is his mother?

The Cubs ended up going 1-2 in the opening series. Fan whining after Marmol blew the lead in the 9th inning of the last game was at an all time high. I don’t know why. These are the same fans that picked the Cubs for a fourth place finish. Why would they expect them to beat the Pirates? Shame on you for taking up valuable whining time from other fans and wasting valuable oxygen that could be put to better use. There are children in Poland with no exclamation marks, thanks to you.

If you surf around to every other Cubs blog, they’ll tell you exactly what is good and what is bad about this team after their first series. We’re not here to do that. We here to tell you what was fun about this series.

Starlin Castro. He smacked the ball around pretty well (2 triples in one game) and made some good defensive plays. He also made an error and it was fun watching the love for him drain out of the Cubs hashtag on Twitter in favor of him eating the ball he shouldn’t have thrown.

Matt Garza: Cheerleader. He was on the dugout steps during the games, cheering on his teammates. He applauded an Aramis Ramirez walk like it was a homer run. I just hope his team returned the favor for the 12 Ks he put up on the board.

Geovany Soto and Darwin Barney making good, yet hilarious tags. Geo smacked his guy right in the mouth; Barney applied the tag on his runner’s junk.

-The verbal beating a fan took for dropping his beer while trying to catch a ball that didn’t go out of the yard.

Fergie Jenkins singing the 7th inning stretch.

Ryan Dempster shown in the dugout chewing a Darwin Barney sized wad of gum.

Mark Riggins shown plowing through sunflower seeds like a deranged squirrel.

-The sun getting applause. It’s been a long winter.

Okay, now that we’ve gotten that first series out of the way, let’s move on to the next. Bring on the D-Backs. Munster promises not to call them the D-Bags.

Okay, Munster will TRY not to call them the D-Bags.


About Kiki Writes

Tragically unhip writer, rerun junkie, baseball floozy, and fat girl belly dancing. Land of Lincoln Cleavage Queen three years running.
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