Bye Bye Boys

Off-season is such a sad time for me as players leave either via free agency or trades. Goodbyes are not my strong suit, but I have to say them anyway.

Xavier Nady–I liked you, Nady. I’m probably the only one, but that’s okay. You didn’t really do much for the Cubs until Derrek Lee got traded, but I thought you did a good job at first. I’ll never forget your sac bunt in San Diego. Not only was it pretty and useful, but you also admitted that you did it because you’d been hitting like shit the whole series. I appreciate that. I’ll also never forget you hitting a ball while falling over in the batter’s box. That was a good time. I hope you have a great year with the Diamondbacks, so great that whenever Carlos Pena doesn’t live up to expectations (likely to happen with some fans, unfortunately), fans lament that the Cubs let you go.

Micah Hoffpauir–You’ve gone to Japan to explore baseball in the Far East and I wish you the best of luck. September won’t be the same without you. I’m going to miss you constantly sticking your tongue out with everything you do (it always reminded me of my cat, McGee) and I’m going to miss saying your name during games. It’s truly one of the best names in baseball.

Brian Schlitter–We didn’t get to see very much of you in the big leagues and you unfortunately got banged up pretty bad, ERA-wise. It seems like getting claimed off of waivers is just an insult to injury, but you were claimed by the Yankees and as much as I loathe them, they have this tendency to win championships, so that probably makes up for it. Good luck in New York. I’m sorry I didn’t get to see more of you. Your name alone had serious potential.

Sam Fuld–I hope you find success with the Rays in the Florida sunshine. I’m going to miss your hustle and your heart and your penchant for running into fences to make catches. I’ll never forget the time you busted your face open on a fence at Dodger’s Stadium making a catch. It’s that kind of daredevil effort that made September games much more entertaining.

Tom Gorzelanny–I admit that I was a bit leery of you when we first acquired you from the Pirates, but you grew on me. You’re a goobery looking thing when you pitch and you tend to give up too many walks and you attract linedrives like corners attract hookers, but I liked you and I think you did pretty well for the Cubs. You also have an entertaining name. I hope the Nationals treat you well and I hope you have a winning record this year (but only no-decisions if you pitch agains the Cubs).

Baby Boys–Chris Archer, Brandon Guyer, Hak-Ju Lee, and Robinson Chirinos. I’m sorry I never got to see you guys play, but I’ve heard only good things about you. I hope you boys do well for your new team.

So long, boys. Behave. May the baseball gods be good to you.

Unless you’re playing the Cubs.


About Kiki Writes

Tragically unhip writer, rerun junkie, baseball floozy, and fat girl belly dancing. Land of Lincoln Cleavage Queen three years running.
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